29 January 2012

On Death, Gratefulness, and the Writing of Novels

The house is dark and quiet. I'm still jetlagged, unable to stay up past 9pm and unable to sleep past six. Today is a full day, so I figured I might as well get up and get to it. Today, is the long awaited John Green Day. In a few hours, College Brother will be here from Corvallis and later this afternoon we'll adventure over to attend a book signing the likes of which I've never seen. And I've seen a lot...from the sad sort of events where no one shows up to the Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer Sold-Out Masterpiece. Stay tuned for a future blog post regarding this day.

I'll be honest here, this past week has been more than a little bit rough. I have been fortunate not to have experienced a lot of death in my life. The first real blow hit me when I was 13 and one of my best friends was hit by a car and killed. It took me a great long time to come to terms with losing Adam (the first boy I ever slow danced with) and there isn't a May 8th that goes by when I don't think about him.

I've lost two other grandparents. One had long term health issues and the other had cancer. I loved them both dearly. I don't want to diminish that in any way, but the relationship I had with Grandpa Shasky was different and I will miss him so very, very much. I am grateful I was able to get as much time with him as I did. 87 years is a pretty impressive run. I am grateful that I was able to go back and spend time with family and to have a work environment that allowed me to do so without a second thought. I am grateful for a staff that kept things going while I was away and made my reentry as painless as possible. I am grateful for my husband and for friends who've sent kind messages and loaned me suitcases at the last moment.

In short, I am very grateful, even though I might also be very sad.

In the midst of all this, I've still been able to keep my writing going. The novel has moved forward and I am bewildered to find I am somehow still on schedule. How it all happened, I am not exactly sure. I was talking to a work friend early yesterday morning and after we talked about work stuff, we started talking about life stuff and he asked me about my book. I began to talk about how this project has been so different than any of the others I've worked on over the years, how even coming home after a long day I can't wait to dive in and get started with the work, how the hours will fly by as I get lost in the words, in my words. There is a passion connected with this project that overwhelms and inspires me. I love that I love to work on it.

In fact...



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