It's painful and it's going to make this an even longer day...though the possibility of a nap exists in my peripheral view...I just need to get some words out first and spend time with a good friend and her beautiful new daughter.
Yesterday was definitely one of those exceptional days, one of those days that don't come often. It is an evening, short of a mental disorder, that I will never, ever forget.
I'm not certain if I'm yet equipped with words to describe what made the night so exceptional, what made the morning such a brilliant prelude, but I feel the pull to at least attempt something.
There was one point I was standing in the Body Worlds exhibit, observing this library of our physicality, our humanity, and I literally read the writing on the wall. It was an explanation of some of the ways music affects the brain. This is something that has always fascinated me, having always been drawn so completely into the world of music.
Music has saved my life, my sanity, my hope, so many times and in so many ways. It assures and comforts me, knowing there is a scientific explanation for this, though I'm not certain why.
To say there was an unhappy period of my childhood, does not really do it justice. When I was young, to drown out the sounds of adults fighting, I would crawl under the covers with my Walkman and put on my headphones, turning the volume dial up until I could no longer hear the shouting.
Last night Amanda Palmer talked about Influences. It's a question musicians (and writers and other artists) get asked often during interviews. She talked about how she had recently realized there was someone she had left out of her list, Judy Blume. She sang us a song she had written about Judy Blume that sent shivers through my body and welled tears in my eyes.
I would not be the person, the writer I am today, without the influences of Madonna and Amy Grant. I know that those two don't often end up often listed together, but there it is. It's who I am.
I have been influenced as much by music as I have by books and it's always fascinating for me when one artist crosses over from one side to the other...like Josh Ritter writing a novel or Neil Gaiman singing (and writing) songs.
When I was a senior in college, I was approached by a student in a Music Composition class, asking if they could use a poem I had published in the Literary Arts magazine the year before. I said yes, feeling quite proud. When I went to the recital to hear it performed I was quite surprised to find there was another student who had also chosen the same poem to write music for. Having never possessed the ability to compose myself, I was fascinated to hear how two different people interpreted my words.
As a child, I always felt drawn to the piano keyboard, even though I played the violin and sang in choirs. By the time I reached high school, I had abandoned both the violin and singing, but I still felt drawn to the piano. It wasn't until college that I fully realized that the keyboard I was meant to play was a QWERTY one.
I adore the rhythm, the tapping of my fingers on the keys, as I attempt to write my own music. It feels like home.
"I want you and I want you to want me to want you. But I don't need you, don't need you to need me to need you. That's just me, so take me or leave me, but please don't need me, don't need me to need you to need me. 'Cause we're here one minute, the next we're dead, so love me and leave me, but try not to need me, enough said. I want you, but I don't need you."from I Want You, But I Don't Need You, Amanda Palmer (cover of song by Momus)
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| Amanda Palmer and (a faceless) Neil Gaiman at The Aladdin, November 8th, 2011 |
