So this is Christmas...

It's funny how Christmas has changed over the years. First it was the anticipation of Santa and presents and the child-like wonder of it all. Then it transformed to the more subdued teen years. During college it was the thrill of going home for Christmas after finals to finally sleep and spend time with faraway friends and family. Now it is the single day off of a retail slave.

Today, waking up with a sore throat, a stuffed up head, and overall exhaustion, I'm still glad it's Christmas. I'm still glad that I get to spend the day with family. I'm exceptionally glad that I get the day away from work.  And I am going to try my very hardest not to be grumpy.

I can't promise I won't fall asleep.

Zelda "appreciating" her new Zombie foot.

Getting in the Spirit of Things

It's been one week since I powered on my laptop.

Certainly there have been other computers that I've used, at work, at home. And certainly I've had plenty of time with my iPhone. But my laptop is where I do most of my new writing. It's where I've written the bulk of my novels (though I prefer editing on my giant of a desktop). It's where I compose most of these blogs.

Today has been a day off and I have enjoyed sleeping in and being lazy and going for a long walk and seeing a rather absurd movie. I'll save myself the embarrassment of confessing which, simply because it doesn't matter. What matters, is that it got me thinking about love.

The book I'm editing is about love, certainly, but more than that, it's about friendship and those people in our lives who are there no matter what, despite whatever is said, whatever is done.  I've struggled a great deal with how to make the female lead more sympathetic to readers and as I was walking this evening, peeking in at the neighborhood's Christmas trees, I realized something rather important. It's hard to explain to those who know nothing about this book, but what I realized may just be the missing piece to Jezebel's humanity. It may be exactly what I needed to show her as the character I know her to be. And it kills me because it's just so simple I feel like I should have understand that about her all along.

This past weekend has been about Christmas. For many years I kind of gave up on Christmas, the decorating and such because my schedule just gets so out of control I get tired just thinking about it. This year, I'm trying the opposite approach.

Last Thursday night we got a tree and then decorated it. We also bought our first ever exterior Christmas lights. I just couldn't resist when I saw them at the store. They are giant lawn versions of the classic glass Christmas lights! They are beautiful!

Friday I watched Love Actually and wrapped Christmas presents. One of these days soon my husband and I will find time to go to the Zoo Lights. I will continue to find time to do these little things that make me so happy.

There are a lot of valid reasons for me to dislike the holidays. But this year, I've decided to spend more time exploring the positive.

Which reminds me that it's time for eggnog...

Sleepless (Merry Christmas, John Green!)

It's 3am (okay, 2:53 am) on Christmas morning and I can't sleep.*

First, I am exhausted. I have helped thousands of people find books, NOOKs, and other assorted items for their loved ones this holiday season. I have had to break the bad news to a quite a few people that the book on x and y (together, of course), simply doesn't exist. I know Uncle Clever Name likes to fish and is also into vintage cars, but so far no one's written a book combining those interests. No, really. I'll humor you with a search on this fancy computer, but I'm still going to come up with zero results. I've been doing this for nearly 14 years. Yes, I do know a little bit about books.

Second, a terrible and insignificant thing happened this week. If you've been reading this blog, or at least the NaNoWriMo portions, then you know that I am a huge fan of John Green. He has earned a great deal of my respect for the human being he is and for the books that he's written. Earlier this week, bn.com did something awful. They didn't bomb a school. They didn't crash an airplane into a skyscraper full of innocent people. They broke a book embargo. John Green's SOS (Strict-on-Sale) for his forthcoming (in theory) new book The Fault in Our Stars. It was inadvertently shipped to several people who had preordered the book online.

It was a mistake. And to John Green, it was a very, very, very unfortunate one. There was a great deal of effort that went in to making certain TFIOS would arrive for everyone to read at the same time. John Green doesn't want spoilers out there ruining the experience for people. I 100% accept and appreciate that. (I've worked many a Harry Potter releases and I've been behind the jerk who opens the book to the end and begins reading aloud. I believe there is a special punishment for people like that...as well as for one of my dearest friends, who upon returning to English class in 9th grade after picking up our next assignment from the book room promptly opened it up and declared "Marcus is dead," and so for the entire book, I knew that Marcus would die. To date, I have still (obviously) not let that go.)

I have not spent ten years working on a book the way that John Green has worked on The Fault in Our Stars, but I do know how it feels to work on a book for two years. I know how it feels to put everything you have and even everything you didn't know you had into a book. I am (in complete disclosure) crying right now as I think about what that feels like. Writing is at once a lonely and public profession. We may write for ourselves and so much of that work takes place inside our head, but we also write to be read. I don't know what it's like (personally) to have 150,000 copies of my book printed and released out into the world. Maybe someday I will, but for now, I imagine that it's a pretty amazing experience and one with a great deal of emotion surrounding it.

I woke up on December 21st to see John Green's tweet "For reasons I cannot currently discuss, I am ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS right now. Like, I can't remember ever having been more pissed off." With a quick stroll on the internet, I was able to figure out what was going on. Then I texted College Brother who'd preordered his copy from bn.com to see if he was getting his early.

A few hours later, John Green released a statement. (found here) In it he said, "We all make mistakes, and it is not my wish to see Barnes and Noble or any of their employees vilified." It wasn't until I read that, that I began to realize that while I had absolutely nothing to do with the early shipment of these books, as an employee of B&N, there was a part of me that felt responsible. It is an irrational feeling of responsibility, but the way I feel nonetheless.

Yesterday John Green posted to his Tumblr the following question someone had asked, "Has there been a statement from B&N regarding the whole shipping fiasco, by any chance? Like, have they even acknowledged that they screwed up royally (either to you or the general public)" to which John Green replied, "They have not. Have I mentioned how easy and convenient it is to preorder The Fault in Our Stars from Amazon, or your local independent bookseller, or Books-a-Million, or Target, or even WalMart?"

Maybe it was all the abuse I've taken this holiday season (80 year old ladies literally screaming at me for no good reason, etc), but this hurt me. A lot. It's part of why I'm writing a blog on Christmas morning after working 60 hours last week instead of sleeping.

Has John Green never heard (or has he simply forgotten?) how Amazon has broken Strict on Sale dates (among its many crimes)? How WalMart sold Harry Potter books early? Target is far from famous for holding back titles. In fact, I think it's pretty safe to say that every book outlet (Costco too) from B&N to your local independent bookseller has made the mistake (and in some cases, done it with purpose) of breaking an SOS.

It just epically sucks when it happens to you.

And while I feel horrible that it happened, horrible that the business I work for, a company that has done a great deal to promote John Green through its Discover Great New Writers program, displays, and booksellers. It was an unfortunate mistake.

This holiday season, I personally put a great many John Green books into the hands of a great many aunts, uncles, grandmas, moms and dads. I helped make that record breaking week for Looking for Alaska. I took great pleasure yesterday in helping the young man wearing a "Keep Calm and DFTBA" t-shirt looking for David Levithan's (brilliant) Lover's Dictionary.

For some (mostly likely fatigue induced) irrational reason, I still feel bad. I have looked forward to January 10th and the release of The Fault in Our Stars. I still am. I am looking forward to January 29th when John Green will be in Portland and I will in attendance with College Brother, grateful to have purchased my tickets before the event sold out.

And if no one else from Barnes & Noble will say it, I'm sorry John Green. I'm sorry this mistake was made, I really am. I'm sorry for you. I'm sorry for your fans. I'm sorry that the release of this book, which is clearly very important to you had to be tainted with this scandal. I'm sorry it had to be a part of your Christmas this year.

Later this morning, I'll head over to my parent's house where I'll see College Brother (who received his copy of TFIOS yesterday...still unopened in its box) and we'll likely talk about this in person.

Again though, I really am sorry Mr. Green.

And for everyone else, have a very Merry Christmas and DFTBA.

*please forgive any typos. It's very late/very early



(further disclaimer: The postings on this site are my own and do not represent Barnes & Noble's positions, strategies, or opinions.