Why is it that some days seem to linger on endlessly while others vanish in but a blink? The past week has been a strange blend of these kinds of days. I am left feeling quite accomplished and like I haven't done anything at all. I have a feeling that's just how it's going to be for awhile.
Right now, I am faced with a difficult decision. To NaNoWriMo or not to NaNoWriMo, that is the question. The truth is, I don't know that I'm going to have the time (or the sanity) to do it, the 50,000 new words in one month. My schedule from 10/15-11/15 is intense (and I'm not sure it will ease off until the new year) and I'm so worried I won't have the literal time to do it and sleep.
Every day I go back and forth, weighing pros against cons and every day I come up with a different answer. I want to desperately. But I'm afraid of failing.
You see, that's one of my flaws.
That fear of failing.
For the worse (or for the better?), I don't like to do things I can't be successful at. It's not that I don't take chances, because I do. I just don't like to knowingly set myself up for failure.
That is different. Right?
And what's the real harm if I don't finish? I've still started a new project. And if I only get 75 pages instead of 160? Isn't that still awesome?
But will it cause additional stress at a time when I'll already be pushed to my limits? Is that worth it?
In a few days I head off to my favorite coastal escape and am looking forward to breathing the salty air and walking along the Pacific. I'm hoping I'll find my answer there.
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