Results of an Experiment

I can say, without hesitation, that I really enjoyed and appreciated the challenges and results of this past week's Groundhog Day Writing Experiment. I loved the excuse to write every day, the self-imposed assignment worked well for me. I hate to say it, but I love the thrill of goals and deadlines. It's nice to know that even when I'm only accountable to myself, I can still make it happen.

I found it difficult, at first, to get away from what I'd originally written. There is a reason the story begins where it does, but what I really hoped to explore was, "Does it have to?" The question I wanted to address was really, "Could/should it begin somewhere else?" As the week wore on, I began to understand the various ways in which I might play with it. On Day 7, I even experimented with writing a prologue to see how that worked (and I'm pretty certain it doesn't, but at least now I know).

About halfway through the week, my mind stubbled upon an incredible "What If" question that could influence the story in a big way. It wouldn't require a tremendous amount of editing, just a few new scenes and it would work to create a true conflict between the two characters that would definitely need to be resolved. And best yet, it would be true to each character's nature, both in terms of their motivations and their reactions. I'm going to stew upon it for a few more days and then I may read through the manuscript, noting where adjustments would need to be made.

The whole point of this exercise, was to think about Jezebel in a fresh way. To think about her character, her flaws, her strengths, what makes her who she is and what makes her make the choices she does and make her react the way she does. I don't think I'm quite there yet, but I think I'm getting closer.

I've thought a great deal about why Holden is a much easier character for me to write than Jezebel and I'm not yet sure I understand completely, but I think I'm getting there. Holden, I just knew. I knew him inside and out. Jezebel is a bigger mystery to solve. She doesn't reveal herself in the same ways, but I think I'm finally understanding why and so I think I can finally write her in a way that the reader can understand, appreciate, and root for.

Here are all the first (and unedited) sentences from the last week. As you can see, several of them begin in a rather similar place, though they often took off in a different direction from there. Each day taught me something I needed to learn. It was a week well invested.


Original: All night long I wrestled to find sleep.

Day One: Some mornings I wake up from a dream or a memory and there is that lingering moment where I forget where I am and how I got there.

Day Two: I only knew that I had actually fallen asleep when the sound of a text message startled me back awake.

Day Three: When I woke, I could still hear the echos of "Happy Birthday" singing in the quiet spaces of my mind.

Day Four: It was hard to say exactly when I started to wonder about the various ways in which a person could run away.

Day Five: I was already three blocks away from the house when I realized that I should have left a note.

Day Six: I don't know why I thought moving halfway across the country would cause me to wake up feeling like a different human being, as if it is latitudes and longitudes that tell us who we are.

Day Seven: There have been many occasions where I've let my mind wander back to the very first day I met Holden.

2013 Groundhog Day Experiment

In Celebration of Groundhog Day

Now that I'm healthier and back to a more normal schedule, I've begun the hard work of what is hopefully my last major round of novel editing before I start sending it out into the world. There is one (rather big) thing that I've been struggling with. The beginning. I don't think the current beginning sets the story up in the way it needs to be, nor do I think it does a good job of introducing Jezebel's character.

It's kind of a problem, as you might imagine.

Over the last few weeks I've been, quite casually, tinkering with the first three pages. Switching out one word for another, testing out the subtle twist I've been contemplating in Jezebel's story, wondering what I really need to do to make this start into what I want it to be.

So I've settled upon a little experiment. I've been contemplating it for awhile, but when I looked at my calendar today it became clear that now is the perfect time to begin. Saturday is Groundhog's Day.

In that spirit, every day this week, all seven of them, I will rewrite my first chapter. I won't look at any previous drafts. I'll simply start fresh, word by word, every day from now through Saturday. Next Sunday I'll read through all seven versions and see if there's any worth pursuing.

I really needed something to get me back into the rhythm of daily writing and I've needed some motivation to tackle this difficult part of the rewrite. This idea seems to do both for me and I'm rather excited to see what comes of it.

Enjoy the Silence

I've been feeling rather quiet lately. It's not that I haven't had much to say, it's more that I haven't felt like saying it. I don't think I can explain why. Nor do I think I want to.

Here are two of the things I haven't been talking about:

1) The other day, I think I finished my book rewrite. I'm not exactly sure, as I need to get some outside perspective before I'm ready to say definitively. This version is so very different from the last version and yet fundamentally the same. It is even closer to my original intention...funny how that can happen after so much revision and the cutting of over 150 pages from the manuscript. I changed a few character names (Holden and Jezebel will always be Holden and Jezebel), including one pretty major character. I don't recommend doing so on your third major rewrite. I found the old name slipping in repeatedly. So grateful for Find & Replace!

2) I've been on vacation. Unless you work with me, or are married to me, you probably didn't know this. This was my Calm Before the Storm vacation. It has been amazing and the time has been exactly what I needed it to be, bending to my will. I have done a great deal of writing. I went to the dentist (due to the notes in my chart about passing out (from the only other time I had a cavity filled) they gave me a totally awesome drug to take beforehand...and let's just say I will lock my phone away before I ever take that medication again). I reorganized virtually every closet in our entire house and some frustrating kitchen cabinets, donated two car loads of stuff to Goodwill, and made great strides towards uncluttering. I watched Dawson's Creek, new Doctor Who, The Daily Show, and the Colbert Report. I played Rock Band, sat in the sun, went for walks. It has been amazing.


Tonight I am relaxing in the library. My iPod is on shuffle. A bottle of wine has been opened. Socks (Socks!) have been placed on feet. Zelda's passed out behind me. It's a perfect night to cozy up with a good book...or two. And for those who are curious, I am jostling between Libba Bray's Going Bovine and Jess Walter's Beautiful Ruins. Two very different and equally wonderful books.

The End of a Vacation

I wish all the mornings could begin in the shade of a sunny patio with a dog sitting at your feet, the neighbor's chickens clucking, and a gentle breeze freshening up the world. For now, I'll just be grateful this one does.

There is a certain sadness that comes from the last day of vacation. And this day, for me, is no exception. The last eight days have been exactly what I needed and I have no doubt today will be as well. The hammock is set up in the backyard and I've finally started reading Gillian Flynn's Gone Girl. So far it is as brilliant as everyone says it is. I think I've a pretty good idea where this day is headed.

I don't think I left the city limits once on this vacation and I drove my car as little as possible, opting for my own two feet and my scooter. I slept in. I stayed up late. I watched Doctor Who and Dawson's Creek. I went out to eat. I went to physical therapy.

And I wrote.

Every single day.

I put many, many hours into my manuscript and enjoyed (almost) every one. I cut out words, sentences, paragraphs, pages. If it didn't work, it was gone. I wrote new words, new paragraphs, new pages. This new draft will probably be around a hundred pages shorter than the last and will be different in many ways, but at its heart it will be much truer to what I'd always intended.

It's a very good place to be.

This fall's calendar is already full of exciting and fun adventures. Amanda Palmer, David Levithan, trips to the beach, a new/old store and the chance to work with some wonderful new-to-me people as well as some brilliant old ones. I get to hang out with Libba Bray (for work! I'm beyond excited!). And so much more.

In but a blink, I have no doubt it will be November. By then I hope to put this current project to bed, where it can rest until the new year. Then, I hope SWHOT (or whatever it's called by then) will be ready to transition from the business of writing to the business of querying.

Goals, Conferences, and Vacations...

The house is shuttered up. All the windows shielded from the sun as I watch the mercury ascend. Chores are nearly done and I have settled in the library with an iced coffee +*.  This is the first day of my staycation vacation. I love the lightness that comes from knowing I have an entire week to myself, this long string of days lined up before me, perched on such possibility.

This past week has been busy and filled with a great deal of running around. The last two days have been spent helping sell books at the Willamette Writers Conference. It was a fascinating time of people watching and eavesdropping. When an agent would stop by I'd google them to see more about who they were and what types of work they represent. I was annoyed by authors who didn't understand why we didn't have their book (because of course we should have had their book!) and I was delighted by the enthusiasm of people coming out of workshops and pitches, excited by the work ahead.

One of the highlights was when a woman in her 80's pitched her novel to us while we were eating lunch. Her assignment had been to find a dozen people to practice her pitch on and when she found us she thought she could get three out of the way at once (I didn't have the heart to tell her that she was kind of missing the point). I don't know if her novel is very good, her pitch was a bit rambling and convoluted and didn't exactly pique my interest, but I admired her spirit and her determination.


I have a lot of goals for this week for me and my manuscript. Last week I got to rewrite a really difficult scene (which I know still needs quite a bit of fine tuning...) and I got to write a brand new scene (which was very exciting to do and does so much for the story!). So if you're looking for me, odds are I'll be tucked away somewhere cool, staring at a back-lit screen as my fingers tap away at the keys.

Or at physical therapy.




*I mean alcohol.

Getting Closer

Sometimes you don't even know how much you're worrying about a thing, how much it's nagging at your heels, nesting amongst your bones, until that worry is gone and with it the heaviness that held you down.

The last two weeks I've had such a worry extricate itself from my body. I didn't even realize the shallowness of my breath until I was able to fully expand my lungs again. I didn't realize how heavily my feet were weighted to the ground until the act of lifting them became so easy I could nearly fly.

All and all, it has been a strange and good period in my life.

I continue to enjoy the work that pays the bills and I am enamored with the work I do that doesn't.

The time away from my manuscript was well spent and in my first week back I was able to solve a nagging problem with a minor character who was always destined to be a larger player. The answer seemed so easy once I'd worked it out and so perfect I couldn't believe it didn't come to me sooner.

There is still much work to be done, but each day I try to work through a few more pages, think of a few more solutions to problems, ask myself a million new questions.

I'm getting close.

Each day, a little bit closer.

Easy Like Sunday Morning

This morning's clouds are scattered with blue and lit with a brightness that just might contain some sunshine. There is a busy day ahead of me (as it's the last non-working day before my road trip) so I'm really enjoying this quiet time in the library with a cup of coffee and the steady tick of a clock. Time does not feel rushed...yet.

This past week has been full. The majority of my time not spent at work has been about pre-trip errands and graduation stuff. And when it hasn't been that it's been about reading books (I have two assignments to finish by the end of the month) and rewrites.

Tuesday I spent an hour on the phone discussing and brainstorming with my critique partner. There is one last problem (and it's a significant one) I have to work out. It won't change the heart of the story, but it provides a very important context for the reader. We brainstormed several ideas/solutions and in the end I thought of something that just might work. We hung up and I went outside to see what Zelda was up to and the idea began to put down some roots started to grow. Partly because of time and partly because of choice, I haven't worked on my revisions since then. But what I have been working on has been really promising. I'm making some smart choices and I've really been able to get the characters back to where they should be.

This whole process has taught me so much about writing and about reading. One very important lesson that I've learned is that you will never fool a smart reader.

The past few weeks (and I'm pretty sure I wrote about it once before) there has been great discussion about Story. It's a theme that's been recurring in my life over the past month. Story is king. Story rules all. You can have the best characters, the best dialogue, the most clever sentences and brilliant prose, but if you don't have story, you don't have anything. Readers (and writers) need story.

There's been something passed around the internet this week that was absolutely perfect for all this Story talk. Before I had a chance to pass it to my critique partner, she sent it to me. It's the 22 Rules of Storytelling According to Pixar and it's got 22 useful things for any writer/storyteller to consider.

Soon I will be traveling and I imagine my characters will tag along on this journey. It's been too long since I took to the road and I'm really looking forward to the time in the car listening to good music, watching the world pass by, and letting my thoughts wander. Until then, I've got a few things to check of my To Do list...

Down to Business

It's the first day of my four day weekend and even though I was awake at 6am, I didn't care.

My morning has been spent taking care of life's little details (bills, errands, birthday breakfast with my littlest bro) and now I've got two hours until a lovely afternoon with the loveliest ladies. We will enjoy pedicures, take-out, booze, and a movie that will certainly make us laugh.

Life is good.

With these two hours, I am going to get started on the revisions, for reals. I am going to take the big leap and see where I resurface.

I've been giddy with anticipation all day.

Due to OS issues, I lost having Word on the Desktop...which is much easier to edit on, what with its GIANT screen. But this week I got my new copy of Microsoft Office and so I'm super excited to be able to do everything on one computer rather than double Mac-ing it like I've been doing.

Here goes...

Double Mac

Getting Back

Time has been that illusive mistress.

My week has been so busy and it's been seven days since I had any real time to work on my manuscript. Last week I did manage to take 8 pages of notes for all the things that make the story great and that need work to make the story even greater.

I rewrote the first two pages because I just couldn't stop myself and ended up writing one line that just makes my heart sing I am so proud of it.

I've made myself a new Holden/Jezebel playlist that is comprised of songs that make me think of them and I listen to them when I'm out walking or at work or driving around. It helps me stay connected to them and gives my brain a chance to work through their concerns even when I don't have time to sit down and get the actual words out.

Just a few more days of this and then my holiday weekend arrives and I have four work free days to spend writing, hanging out with friends, and running a few pre-road trip errands because mid-June is going to be here in but a blink of an eye. (Don't blink!)

I'm really looking forward to getting back to it.

Diving in

The rains have returned and I hate to confess it, but there's a gleeful little part of me that is absolutely delighted. Beautiful days can be a writer's curse, especially in a part of the country that is wet and gloomish for a greater part of the year.

5 days ago my manuscript returned to my doorstep and as it was collected from the mailbox, I (literally) dropped everything and sat down to read the evaluation and then I went through the manuscript itself, page by page, to look at the specific comments. 2 hours later I woke up adrift in a sea of emotions and starving.

It was an experience like nothing else. I took A LOT of writing classes in college and a few post-college. I've been in writing groups before. I've been given positive and constructive feedback many, many times before.

But there's been no other project that I've poured so much time into nor invested so much heart.

I was in a place with this manuscript where I just didn't know what to do next. I knew that there was still work to be done, but I felt a little lost, unequipped to make the kinds of tough editing decisions that I knew were going to need to be made. It's the curse of character. My characters were real (and though it became clear that while Holden does shine on the page, Jezebel doesn't quite come across the way I see her). I love spending time with them...too much time and too many pages.

What's absolutely amazing, is that I now have a clear vision of what kinds of things I need to cut, what kinds of things don't really move the story along. Yesterday I was listening to the Nerdist Podcast and Chris Hardwick was talking to Tina Fey and he asked her if she'd like to do another screenplay and she said yes and then proceeded to talk about how much she's learned, especially from 30 Rock, how important story is. Tina talked about notes she got regarding the screenplay for Mean Girls from the studio and how they kept saying, "More story!" and she didn't really understand what they meant at the time.

I think I've fallen into that same problem a bit myself. SWHOT is definitely a character driven piece. You need to understand and care about what happens to these characters...but that doesn't mean I don't have to make tough decisions about scenes to cut in order to support the greater good. Story is very important. Some might argue it's the only thing worth paying attention to.

There was one aspect of the manuscript that's bothered me from the beginning of the entire writing process for SWHOT and that's Jezebel's history. I changed it completely between the first and second draft and now as I begin the third draft, I have an incredibly tough decision to make. I have a plan for how to fix the problems with her history should I decide to keep it the way it is. I have a clear vision for how it can still work and how I can integrate that into the entire manuscript.

Or I can change it.

And there's a pretty good option on the table that would work well with the characters I have and their needs and motivations and it would serve the story.

I just need to decide.

As you'll see from the photo, I've got a notepad where my plan is to break down the "pros," the what needs to stay, and the "cons," what definitely needs to go. I'm also considering rewriting the first chapter from scratch with Version A and then again with Version B. But I told myself I'd wait a full week to begin any actual writing.

During most of my downtime my brain has been storming up ideas and solutions.

This critique was exactly what I needed to see the finish line. One of the greatest reassurances from the praise and the criticism, was that the "writing is really strong." I figure as long as I have that, everything else is an easy fix.

Armed and ready